hot mess

hello lovelies,
I'm a terrible mess currently... it's a bit ridiculous (as you can see above)!! Ahhh! Well I'm picking back up with school so I've been quite busy this week with meetings, blah, blah, blah, and my BIRTHDAY on THURSDAY! YAY! I will officially be legal! Ohhh boyy. Its an absolute travesty, however, because I have nothing to wear to school for my birthday, nor do I have a fabulous outfit yet for my tea party on Saturday. Ohhh joyy. Anywho, yesterday I had a pleasant visit with a friend who had been away in Madrid all semester... it was nice to see him and chit-chat and hear about all of his amazing travel experiences. EEEK! I'm so ready for college next year! In fact, I'm visiting Fordham, NY and Northeastern in Boston in February... exciting much? I think so.
Besides all of the exciting things happening, I've currently run into one minor dilemma. My ex. We had a pretty terrible break up more than 6 months ago, and after he has gone MIA, not responding to any of my texts/calls/ emails/facebooks/etc. hes deciding to contact me now... and I'm not sure WHAT to think about it! Luckily I don't have that "ohhh lets get back together" feeling... thank god. But this person is a completely different person than the one I knew many months ago. He's basically gone through a 360 degree change, for the worse... its unhealthy, and I don't think he's happy. I definitely don't want to be with him ever again, and I want to make him feel how terrible I felt when he left me without a word for MONTHS, but at the same time I want to be there for him... no matter how distant and different he is. He forgot how we used to be, and has forgotten so much about me, and our past relationship... and I must admit, it hurts. But I'm glad this has been made clear to me that I shouldn't be missing him and don't want to be with him, but I dont know if I should stick around and help him with his "problems" and "issues". Its bad. I'm conflicted, confused, but ontop of it, and selfishly... relieved that I no longer have feelings for him. Ohhh dear...

...Wow. That was an unattractively long post. WOOO I apologize! I feel like it all had to get off my chest!

stay classy,


listening to: black the colour of my heart - monarchy
thinking about: posting new art stuff!